(IN) COURAGE

Excited to share that Lindsey is the next person to respond to my ‘7 questions’.  She is my sister-in-law, and as you’ll learn, the mother of three boys.   I’ve admired her as she navigates being an awesome mom and there’s is one moment in particular, I’d like to share.   

As many readers may already know, my twin nephews were born REALLY early and therefore REALLY small.  At one point they were in the NICU, but at two different hospitals.  When I came home to visit, I asked if I could see them, knowing that I was also asking for lots of diving, and was told yes.  When we went to visit Leo (little lion Leo 🙂) I couldn’t help by cry at first. I couldn’t believe how small he was, it seemed that he was more tubes than baby!  I got to hold him for a bit and was in the room when the team of doctors came in. They were giving Lindsey the latest updates.  From what I could understand, they were giving an update on his current status,making sure all was well, but it also seemed there was a lot of uncertainty still.  She stood, listened, asked questions and like a warrior mom ready for whatever the next steps were.  It was nothing short of incredible, how she radiated resiliency. (Left: Leo, Right: Lucas)

They are now 5-year-old happy, healthy, vibrant little boys!

Now, onto the questions!

1) What do you do for a career?

I’m not going to lie, I had to look up the definition of “career” before answering because otherwise I’d honestly answer this question as having no career. And, per the definition: an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training, followed as one’s life work; a general course of action through life or a phrase of life; or success in a profession.. I’d still answer this as having no career. Currently I’m a stay at home mom – it’s not a defining “career;” I have no special training, this is not just a phase of my life, and I definitely wouldn’t say I’m successful at it, unless the fact that my children are alive counts as success, ha!

I am a mother of three – a 7 year old and twin 5 year olds, all boys. They are both the light of my life and the bane of my existence. 

2) Who has inspired you? Why?

I always tell my boys: “to be brave is to do something even though you’re scared” – people who do that, who show that, who prove that, are the most inspiring to me. 

3) What are some examples of things you’ve done that are courageous?

Falling in line with the theme here, I think two of the most courageous things I’ve ever done are getting married and becoming a mom – although of course I had no idea those would be the hardest parts of my life so far. To be clear, there’s nothing abnormal about my marriage or about my children, I just never would have guessed how incredibly challenging both of those things would be. To consciously choose to put others above yourself, to make the sacrifices one does in a partnership and as a guardian were inconceivable to me. I don’t know why I thought that being a wife and mother would be so easy, it’s not like I had perfect role models growing up (do any of us, really?) But the choices I make on a daily basis, to *choose* love instead of anger, to *choose* empathy instead of apathy (especially when dealing with my own mental illness) is courageous. to me. It takes courage to break through the mundanity of everyday life and choose to thrive instead of simply surviving. 

4) Do you have a “bucket list”? Would you mind sharing at least one thing on that list?

Oh I love a good adventure. Not a “let’s go climb a mountain” or parachuting or skydiving adventure. I love an adventure into the unknown. I would love to drive for the sake of driving and stop when I run out of gas or I’m too tired to continue. But even on a more basic level, I love taking my kids somewhere new and seeing the excitement on their faces as well as feeling my own. So anything that checks those boxes is on my “bucket list.” Personally, the one thing I think I truly have on my bucket list is to drive to Alberta, Canada to the Royal Tyrrell Museum (dinosaurs). 

5) What inspiring advice would you give to others?

Oh gosh, I don’t know that I’m qualified to give advice of any kind to someone else, but really I guess just.. live. Live for yourself, live for others, just live your life because it’s so incredibly short (this coming from a 34 year old), time really does fly, and everything we know and love could be gone at any moment. Carpe diem. 

6) Is there something about you/your work or hobby that you’d like to share?

Just.. try not to judge. We all have our own struggles and really, they are more alike than anyone wants to think. There is nothing more dispiriting than when someone stares at you with disgust when your children are running around the store, or an unsympathetic human who walks past you when you fall down. I’d categorize this answer as falling under me and/or my “work” – don’t forget we’re all human. 

7) HOT SEAT! What is your question for me?

I know that you have been incredibly brave in many facets of life, but what is the most courageous thing you’ve seen someone else go through, personally and professionally? What was it and how did it affect you?

Gosh this is a good one!  As always, I do have trouble with things like MOST or LEAST or Favorite.  But if you look at life as chapters, I think seeing people persevere in various chapters, it not only has an impact in that moment, but is likely something that is part of you.  I’d also am trying to tread lightly on sharing other people’s stories, so I’ll speak to this more generally – but know these are real people. 

Professionally, I’ve seen a lot of people go through some really hard times while maintaining what they do for ‘work ‘and navigating their family life.  This includes stay at home moms too btw! I’ve admired those that have either switch jobs or even careers to seek a better fit for them and/or their families.  That takes guts! 

Personally, I admire those that had a tough (or abusive) past but try to break the cycle for themselves and/or their families.  It is also inspiring to see people that went through struggles to find their way to persevere for themselves and become a role model for others.
Seeing those I love and care for become parents and navigate through those various stages of their child’s life is admirable. Though I am not a mom, I think that being a mom/parent is one of the hardest things to do. Some of them end up going through a divorce and when I see that they try to think of the kids first is admirable. 

All my life, I have always been a fan of the ‘underdog’, it’s always been inspirational and encouraging for me. All of this reminds me, that I can do hard things.